Monkey See, Monkey Do

If you ever needed a really good reason to improve your performance at the front of a room or at the podium, consider this ...

In an article on "Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership" published in the Harvard Business Review in September 2008, Daniel Goleman (of EQ fame) and Richard Boyatzis wrote this:

"It turns out that there's a subset of mirror neurons whose only job is to detect other people's smiles and laughter, prompting smiles and laughter in return. A boss who is self-controlled and humorless will rarely engage those neurons in his team members, but a boss who laughs and sets an easy-going tone puts those neurons to work, triggering spontaneous laughter and knitting his team together in the process. A bonded group is one that performs well, as our colleague Fabio Sala has shown in his research. He found that top-performing leaders elicited laughter from their subordinates three times as often, on average, as did midperforming leaders. Being in a good mood, other research finds, helps people take in information effectively and respond nimbly and creatively. In other words, laughter is serious business.

Wow ... if we all took this to heart, meetings could be a heck of a lot more fun, huh?!

Thanks But No Thanks

Okay, speakers and presenters, you have a dilemma!

On the one hand, it is widely expected and perfectly acceptable to open a talk by thanking your hosts and guests for being there and for their participation in whatever meeting or event everyone is gathered to attend. Sometimes this is even laced with welcomes and other platitudes.

On the other hand, it is also widely known that audiences judge a speaker or presenter's worthiness within the first 10 seconds. Some say 8 seconds, some actually say 3 seconds. Hmmmm. Suffice it to say, audiences judge fairly quickly – in a matter of seconds – whether the person at the front of the room is worth paying attention to and whether they plan to listen attentively or not.

Collision, conundrum, dilemma. What to do? How do you reconcile these two forces? I'm a big advocate for shaking things up and trying something new and different. I'm also a big advocate for yielding to the audience (if there's even a slight conflict between the speaker's interests and the audience's interests, the audience wins hands down!). It'll be a little bit like moving over and sleeping on the other side of the bed (you know you have a side!), but try and grab your audience's attention first and thank them later. See if you can save your niceties and pleasantries for the end of your opening section, or for the very end of your remarks, whichever feels more doable. Open instead with a story, a question, a proposition, or a call to action.

Yes, making this change is likely to feel unnatural at first, but it will make you and your talk much more memorable. If for no other reason, you will stand out as the speaker who had a strong, impressive opening!

Being Real

Kudos to my newest client this morning for being bold enough to be real!

She is opening a three-day meeting of her company's division by being real and calling out the 800-lb gorilla in the room. Specifically, there is so much growth and change taking place in the company that, from one day to the next, people barely even know who they report to or what they're working on. Challenging situation, but not surprising given the fast-paced, high-growth industry in which they operate.

By calling it out – and she's doing it in a light-hearted way – she will not only connect with her audience immediately, but she also will earn their trust, respect and, I would suspect, their loyalty. Everyone wins. She establishes herself as a likable, credible leader, and her team members from around the world feel noticed and acknowledged. Great way to start the group meeting; the air is clear, and everyone can focus on the business of moving forward.

Leaders often feel the pressure to motivate by being cheerleaders, pumping up the troops no matter what's happening around them in reality. It's tempting to gloss over the negatives and the distractions. Frankly, it can feel risky to be as open about what isn't working as you are about what is working, but sometimes it's the best thing you can do for yourself and your employees. 

Nothing quite beats honesty and authenticity for winning over an audience.

Thank you, Dr. King!

Today is the perfect day for a reminder about going to 30,000 ft and staying out of the weeds.
  
Dr. King was the master. He said, "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."  He did not say, "We need equal rights and equal access to schools, buses, water fountains, and voting booths for adults and children alike; we need laws to be enacted that protect and promote the future of our people in this nation." Nothing wrong with the second one, but it's not nearly as impactful or memorable as the first. It's all in the why versus what, the message versus the info.

So, in a slightly different twist on honoring the legacy of Martin Luther King, let's all resist delivering laundry lists of items and features when we speak. Instead, let's look at our lists and ask what value or significance or meaning there is in all of our items and features collectively. And then that's the message.

I have a dream indeed.

Countdown to Tuck

Gifts come in all forms, and one of mine this year came in the form of an invitation to be a Visiting Executive and Lecturer at the Tuck School of Business at Dartmouth College. Very exciting!

I will be on the campus in Hanover, NH, January 3rd through the 5th, giving a lecture to MBA students on Executive Presence, coaching students in one-on-one sessions, and meeting with the Dean as well as various faculty members and administrators. An amazing opportunity, a wonderful gift.

So, the countdown begins, and the preparation, which actually began months ago, continues. Yes, SmartMouth followers, I have outlined my "focal points" and my "messages" for each and every one of my presentations and important conversations. Who wouldn't, right?!

And just as a teaser, here are the headlines from the lecture on Executive Presence: Audience Awareness and Sensitivity; Professionalism and Preparedness; Tone and Behavior. But more on these after class ...

Tks

Omigosh, I had to laugh. "Tks" was the full content of an email I got from a client the other day. That was it, just ... Tks.

He meant thanks, or thank you, or thank you for your response ... or, more specifically, thank you for responding to my email and for editing my important presentation that was attached. 

Not to worry, I gave him a ton of grief for his Tks. And I reminded him that my work with him, our journey together, was to help him become a more robust and relevant communicator. He's an executive, with a lot of potential and a bright future, but I'm told that people cannot follow him when he speaks. He really had been making great strides, getting lots of compliments, feeling better about his presentations. Then Tks. 

But Tks is not just his pitfall. It's all of ours. Thumb fatigue from text messaging, the limits of the 140-character message, and the pressures of hectic and multiple communication modes these days have made for some pretty sloppy messages that assume a familiarity and casualness with your audience that might not always be appropriate or welcome. And let's be honest here, we've all fallen into a complacency with messages like Tks. We just generally trust that it's okay. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't ...

The moral of the story? U cud b gr8, but beware, these shortcuts could also shortcut your career if used too often or with the wrong audience at the wrong time. And so the few extra seconds it takes to type out a full word or two might be well worth it. Think about it next time you're in a hurry to send a message, and Tks for reading!

Always a Student

I’m always learning, usually from examples that others provide. Every client and every client situation reveals at least one lesson or nuance that is so instructive I cannot help but to make a note of it ... and then share it or use it later on.

So, when I’m asked for quick tips on presenting, speaking or executive presence, I often ask, “well, who do you admire, what do you find effective, are you observing others?”

One of the fastest, most cost-effective ways to improve your presentation skills, ramp up your public speaking, or polish your presence is to watch others and note – literally make notes for yourself – what-to-do and what-not-to-do. Oftentimes, the what-not-to-do is more glaring and therefore more immediately instructive. On the what-to-do side, though, I would encourage you to look and listen for some of the harder to hit fine points, such as how others connect with an audience, memorable openings and closings, the kind of stories that work, how people move and use the “stage” and how they use their voices. There’s so much to learn by observing and studying others.

Tip of the day? Go grab a journal or open a new document on your laptop. Some of your best moments at the front of the room may come from having sat and taken notes in the student section!